Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
