this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
