Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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