New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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