i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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