i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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