i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
