mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Damn victory sex feels great
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
