My friends, they love my intelligence
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
