The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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