"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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