This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
