Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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