I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
