I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
My life is pants optional.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
