Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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