you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
