his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Randomize
