shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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