i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
