You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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