What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
