): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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