Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
only you would photoshop your dick
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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