I'm really into asian looking animals
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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