we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
This toilet bowl is my home.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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