How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
