i don't plan on having that self control this summer
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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