therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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