She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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