Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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