Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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