I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
