Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
