So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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