i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
