And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
