i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
