Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
