he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
