Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
