And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
