Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
