I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
