I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
