ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
