Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
