The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
