it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
