She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
