You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
