Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
