Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
