One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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