Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
